then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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