Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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