Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
