And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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