So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
