But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
