that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
