Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
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I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
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I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize