ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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