The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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