Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
