Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize