I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
