Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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