I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
