Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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