Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
