Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
