you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
