So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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