mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
