Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
