I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
