I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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