yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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