I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
