sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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