Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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