u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This is classic penis vs brain.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
