dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
COCAINE IS GR8
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
