If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
