Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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