i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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