Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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