that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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