My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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