I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
