the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
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2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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