What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
