he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
