i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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