he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
