Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
