There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
