I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
