Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
