his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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