he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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