he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he shaved USA in his pubs
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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