There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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