no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
