just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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