Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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