Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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