u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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