you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
