You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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