He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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