dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
