Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
