Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
