Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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