my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
