just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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