Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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