if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
